Noted psychologist John Gottman determined that this ratio of five affirmative to one resistive is the “magic ratio”. His study predicted the divorce rate of 700 newly married couples after 10 years of marriage with 94 percent accuracy. The predictions were based on scoring the ratio of beneficial to unenthusiastic interactions from one 15 minute conversation with each husband and wife.

Let’s face it, gloomy emotions can be harmful and unproductive; while, beneficial emotions can be very constructive to you and those around you. One thing to keep in mind is that emotions are contagious. When you’re happy, chances are, you’ll make others around you a little happier. If you’re sad, or even worse, angry, it is likely that you will affect the entire environment around you.

AFFIRMATIVE EMOTIONS ARE BENEFICIAL WHILE RESISTIVE EMOTIONS ARE DESTRUCTIVE

Someone who is consistently in a good mood is more likely to demonstrate confidence. Conversely, people who have persistent issues handling their temper may damage their credibility over time. By the same token, someone who is prone to open displays of emotion such as continual crying may be viewed less favorably than someone who is in dictate of their emotions. Needless to say, riding an emotional roller coaster drains your energy and leaves you less likely to perform at your best.

While experiencing your deeper feelings and showing emotions are part of life and essential for living life to it’s fullest. There are times and places where it is more accepted and productive, such as at home with friends and family.

THE KEY TO DEALING WITH UNENTHUSIASTIC EMOTIONS

So, if you are not at a place where emotions are helpful, how do you staying focused on the task at hand and push aside any hindering emotions you start
to feel?

1. Acknowledge What You’re Feeling. It’s okay to have feelings, but you need to understand why you’re having them. So, ask yourself “why am I feeling this way?
Then, ask yourself “what can I do to change it?”

2. Write everything out that is making you angry, tired, or sad. It is very therapeutic to get these feelings out of your head and onto paper. You may even write down solutions to the gloomy emotions that you are feeling.

3. Confer to a Friend. By having someone who will listen when you are feeling down, you will dilute the weight of the burden that you’re carrying.

4. Exercise. Whatever form of exercise you prefer whether it’s running, swimming, cycling, or even weight lifting; it will take your brain off of your problems. Also, there is a physical, chemical release associated with exercise, which will make you feel better.

5. Get Away from the Situation. If something is irritating you, take some time away from it. By removing yourself from the situation, you will gain a broader perspective and give your mind some time to resolve what you’re feeling.

Take these solutions to heart and before you know it, you’re heart will feel better.

success is not just for a select few. It’s for those who know what to do and have the right tools to achieve it. Learn how the right planner and organizer can help you reach a higher level of productivity.

Success can mean happiness in finding satisfaction from life and getting to the end of your life knowing that you’ve lived it to the full in an honest and honourable way. Not winning against others, winning against yourself and your own personal fears and limitations. In reality everybody wants to be a winner in life and to have the best that life can offer. Nobody enjoys living in poverty and mediocrity.

Some of the most practical success ethos ever devised have actually come from biblical material. Everyone’s heard the phrase ‘faith can move a mountain’. This is probably true that with enough faith and determination one could move a mountain where it might take some time, but the idea that with faith and belief you can achieve anything you want in life is fundamentally true, and has been proven time and time again throughout history.

If you’re positive that you can do something, you have no doubts, and you believe that it will happen so passionately it is almost as if it already has, that reality begins to develop. I have no idea how this works but it truly does. You tend to find yourself in the right place at the right time, speaking to just the sort of person who can help you, or finding yourself in a situation that you would find impossible to imagine, but that helps you slowly toward your goals.

Now I’m not one for mumbo-jumbo and giving people false hope, but this has definitely worked in my life and can work in yours. You just need to train yourself to think in that way. You can always tell who the positive people are. They walk with their heads held high and with spring and speed in their step. It’s obvious that they know where they’re going and are not just aimlessly moving through life with no direction. On the other hand you can see the person who has no direction or desire. They typically walk with a slouch, failing to lift their feet property off the ground, and mumbling rather than speaking clearly. It’s as if the whole weight of the world is on the shoulders, and to them it feels like it is. What type of person do you want to be?

So start by behaving more positively in your life. At first you may need to lie to yourself. Tell yourself it’s a wonderful day, that things are great, and that you will achieve your goals. Tell yourself time and time again. Every time you say these words you are programming your mind. Programming yourself to the extent that in the future you will come to believe these things. I’m not talking about giving yourself false hope for the sake of it, but helping you to move away from the negative feelings you have towards a more positive outlook.

Every morning tell yourself how lucky you are to be alive, what a wonderful day it is, and how grateful you are for your health, your family, and all the good things you have in your life. This will prove a great start towards overcoming your fears and worries for the future, and converting yourself into a person who knows that they can succeed. Good Luck.

Orlando has been interesting in success and self improvement strategies for many years. He also has a website dedicated to American Standard Toilets, and provides information and reviews on American Standard Toilet Seats for those renovating a bathroom.

Do you feel that if we go the extra mile, there is no or less competition?
Hard working people are in demand everywhere regardless of age, experience or academic qualifications.
Hard-working people:
Can work without supervision
Are punctual and considerate
Listen carefully and carry out instructions accurately
Tell the truth
Don’t sulk when called upon to pitch in at the time of an emergency
Are result oriented rather than task oriented
Are cheerful and courteous
Persistence results from commitment and leads to determination. There is a pleasure in endurance. Athletes put in years of practice for a few seconds or minutes of performance.

Persistence is a decision. It is a commitment to finish what you start. When we are exhausted, quitting looks good, but winners endure. Ask a winning athlete, he endures pain and finishes what he started. Lots of people who are failures began well but never finished anything. Persistence comes from purpose. Life without purpose is drifting. A person who has no purpose will never persevere and will never be fulfilled.
Do all of us have the qualities for success? Some people feel they don’t. They stay mediocre and fail. But it doesn’t have to be that way. You have all the abilities to be successful in life. You just need to go some extra mile.

Tuhin Hasan is an expert in personal development. Have you found this article interesting and useful? Visit www.personaldevelopmentpage.com to receive his exclusive articles and other self help tools for free.

Fulfillment isn’t necessarily for the favored few, for ones well-off or the geniuses. Everyone gets the authority in order to be successful be it in school, in his chosen line of work, as part of his home living, within his business enterprise, or even in bringing up a child. Counter to popular notion, being successful isn’t internal to a person but is dependent on the individual’s perspective in life.

Varied People, Various Viewpoints, Distinctive Success Stories

Certain things will be fixed. Arduous work and enthusiasm in working on things will certainly as a general rule establish accomplishments or alternatively lack thereof. Sometimes from a young age, hard work is established inside child’s head. All through grade school era, our alignment would be to study intensely to obtain good grades, graduate equipped with flying colors and ultimately obtain some sort of excellent-compensating job. Nevertheless that does not cease at that point.

All through work, you should give your very best getting elevated or obtain the opportunity which you longed-for. Same considering the people operating running a business. These people do not cease locating approaches for his or her firm to grow making more.

Drive plus Self-discipline

The next main factor for financial success is simply joy through working on stuff. That grows into ones own inspiration during your mission to thrive no matter how toilsome things may appear. The majority of the time, folks who do stuff that they really take pleasure in working on are who do well.

You really do not need be a master to have great results throughout ones vocation. Not cash or influence works as a prerequisite towards success. You will only need to become thorough with executing the thing that gives you bliss. Consequently, to become a profitable musician, you don’t’ have to come from a family of artists. In addition, people don’t need to be the son from a thriving business owner to become a good one.

Your Objective

Along with hard work as well as adoration for working at things, you cannot grasp achievement assuming zero distinct goal is focused. Now there should always be an end before any sort of endeavor is attempted. Specify your main goal and also work tirelessly to attain this for success doesn’t happen overnight. It is a long and troublesome course of action that just those who may have focus are capable of.

Weighing Outcomes

Furthermore, accomplishment is just not measured by the variety of honors a person obtained, selection of college degrees you might have obtained, diversity of Homes you have along with other material items that money can obtain. Genuine fortune is measured with the number of lives are fortunate as a result of you and the way you experience existence to the fullest extent. That is actually making an impact on anybody else’s life some way or another.

You might possess all the money in the world that can acquire anything you needed, however , if on a single component of yourself you’re not completely satisfied, that can’t be considered successful. Accomplishment and glee come together. In essence, achievement is being proud of what you are undertaking as well as being content with the things you possess.

Greatest wishes in your own endeavers. Just take a look at a couple of motivation.

Here are 5 keys to overcoming failure.

1. Learn from your mistakes and failures.

How did you learn to ride a bike? The short answer: you fell off 100 times. Every time you make a mistake or fail, learn as much as you can from it so that you are better prepared next time.

Action Step: Write down the top five things that you learned from your last mistake or failure.

2. Don’t dwell on it.

Now that you have learned something from your mistake, move on. Don’t dwell on your past. You can’t tell where you are going if you are looking backwards. Also, dwelling on your past failures will keep you in prison right where you are.

Action Step: Read what you have written down in Key 1 (The 5 Things You Learned).

3. Don’t be afraid to try again.

Don’t let the fear from your last failure stop you from reaching your greatness, goal, dream, or potential. Just like learning to ride that bike, you didn’t fall once or twice and then give up.

Action Step: Take what you have learned and try it again now that you are better prepared.

4. Surround yourself with positive people.

No matter what it is that you are trying to achieve, surround yourself with successful people that have done what you want to do. One of the best ways to overcome failure is to learn how other people just like you overcame failure. This will not only encourage you but give you the proof that it can be done.

Action Step: Find a person or a group of people who are successful and get around them as soon as possible.

5. Realize that failure is part of the learning curve.

Failure and mistakes aren’t fun but they are what help us learn to be great at whatever it is we are trying to achieve. “There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.” – Colin Powell

Action Step: Think back to a time where you succeeded. Then think how many times you failed or made mistakes to get to that success.

Now that you have the 5 Keys to Overcoming Failure, go out there and just do it! You have a seed of greatness on the inside of you. Don’t let anyone or anything stop you from reaching your full potential in life.

Once you’ve established your goal, there are two key elements necessary to accomplishing that goal, a definite date and a definite plan. I’ve learned that it’s easier to accomplish things if we break them down into small tasks. You don’t just put the whole steak in your mouth, you cut it up into small bite sized pieces. Not only does it taste better, but it’s also easier for your body to digest. You should break your goals down the same way.

Accomplishing Any Goal is just 5 Easy Steps away:

1. Establish a definite date – Set your goals in reverse. Pick a date of completion and work backward. Ex. Set a goal for the end of the month and then set short term goals for each day through the end of the month. This way you are setting short and long term goals and each day as you accomplish your short term goals you move one step closer to accomplishing your long term goal. Don’t forget to include personal development goals and days off.

2. Keep a calendar – Take the goal you set for the end of the month and write that goal in on the last day of the month. Then write down the short term goals for each day through the end of the month.

3. One at a time – Don’t try to cram everything into one day. If you try to post to your blogs, post to the forums, post classified ads, participate in groups, submit articles and work on your Squidoo lenses, etc. all in one day you’ll burn yourself out. Instead, focus on one or two things every day and then cross it off. Mark an ‘X’ on the calendar on the days you complete the scheduled tasks.

4. Set a time limit – Aim for one to two hours per day. By limiting the time you are spending and focusing on one or two tasks every day, you’ll build momentum and increase your success rate.

5. Stick with it – Stick with your schedule. Switching things up too often can get in the way of your success.

With a written plan, you’ll make accomplishing your goals easier. At the end of the month when you see more ‘X’s than empty squares, you’ll feel more accomplished. By implementing the 5 Easy Steps to Accomplishing Any Goal, you’ll find yourself making progress, building self-confidence and reaching and accomplishing your long term goals.

This is a surprisingly common dilemma. There are many people out there who could be called “Seminar Junkies”. They go from course to course, book to book, guru to guru desperately seeking answers, yet never finding them.

They watch the people around them have magical transformations in their lives, and feel frustrated and resentful that they are not getting the same results. These people typically continue to attend course after course until eventually they give up and live a life of quiet desperation.

Now, I’m going to share a huge secret with you, though you have to promise not to tell everyone else, because otherwise all these people who make their living from self help seminars and books will get very upset at me for sharing this secret.

The majority of people who attend self-help seminars, read the books, listen to the CD’s are all desperately looking for someone else to change their lives. They refuse to take responsibility for their lives and firmly believe that the only way they can change is if some guru waves their magic wand and blesses them. Then, and only then, will they have permission, and the ability, to change.

Here’s a newsflash.

No guru, no self help book, no seminar, no CD is going to change your life.

The only way you are going to change your life is if you decide to change it.

You can attend the courses, listen to CD’s and read the books, but if you are not willing to take responsibility for what you have in your life and accept your own power and ability to change it, you are never going to get the changes you want.

That’s right. You’ll just stay the same.

People are far too willing in today’s society to give away their personal power and responsibility for their lives. They are always jumping from diet to diet or from health fad to health fad or whatever, hoping that one of them will actually make a difference for them.

If you want to change your life you need to follow these 5 steps:

Make a decision right now that you are going to change your life. There are many different ways to do this, and I teach a number of motivational techniques on my courses and in my workbooks you can use to help you make this decision.

Take responsibility for everything that is in your life, no matter how good or bad. You created and accepted it into your life, and as such, you can change it.

Decide what you do want in your life, what you are going to accept and what you are not going to accept. If you don’t know what you want, look at what you don’t want, and the opposite of that is what you want. Decide on who and what you want to be. Create an action plan for change. Create a plan for how you are going to make these changes.

And the most important step of all, DO IT. That’s right, do it and make the changes. This is the step that separates the achievers and successful people from the dreamers living a life of mediocrity.

If you have been attending all these seminars, reading these books and you still haven’t managed to change your life, then look inside yourself and ask this question.

“Am I taking responsibility for changing my life?”

If the answer is no, then take responsibility and start changing your life today. Whether you work with someone else, or you work with me, take responsibility and use the knowledge of the “guru’s” and the courses and the books and implement them into your life and create the life of your dreams; the life you deserve.

You can wait for an eternity for someone else to make the changes for you, and it’ll never happen. YOU just have to DO it yourself. Stop putting things off now, because the more you put things off the more painful and difficult it will get.

P.S. If you are reading this and saying “I tried” or “I can’t” or something similar then you absolutely need to re-read this article right now two or three times and implement it into your life. It is time to stop trying and start doing.

So doesn’t that pretty much sum it up for most of us?

We all work at least one job, and some of us work two or three, and then try to find time to build our “part time 15 minutes a day” online empire!

So we start out full of passion and enthusiasm, and enjoy the challenge always thinking about being able to make money online.

Unfortunately it rarely happens over night, and if WE DON”T KNOW ANYTHING about html, we might find that simply placing a banner on our web site takes us 15 hrs! Not 15 minutes, and so on, until our eyes are bleeding, our patience has run away somewhere, we’re having trouble with our day job, our friends think we’re a foolish for trying, and our “significant other” thinks we’re having an affair!

So what happens? We look at our options; according to “Maslow’s hierarchy of needs” and come up with the following:

ADDICTIONS: We start to depend on some kind of escape (Alcohol, drugs, food, withdrawing, etc)

NECESSITIES OF LIFE: (Physiological needs) Food and shelter, where does food come from? The money we make from working. Where does shelter come from? The money we earn to pay the rent/mortgage. So do we quit the day job? No way! That’s the only thing keeping us alive!

Forget the rest of our needs! If we can’t meet these first two needs we won’t even attempt to obtain other lofty ideals.

SO WHAT HAS TO HAPPEN in order to ensure we meet the second need?

The biggest thing (in our minds) that’s holding us back from obtaining THE NECESSITIES OF LIFE, it takes from the money we earn to buy food, it threatens our day job, it also threatens those higher ideals of relationships and belonging.
So we make the decision (because we always have a choice, more on that another time) without even consciously thinking about it! THE INTERNET!
It’s the evil thing stopping us from being able to survive!

IDENTIFY THE PROBLEM! Where did it start? It started to become a problem when we spent too much time trying to fix the dam HTML, in the banner or email redirect or image insertion!

SO HOW CAN WE ENSURE SUCCESS?

ANSWER: Manage our time, and learn some basic html script insertion tricks.

To make changes to a web page you need an html composer.

Here’re few quick tips that might save time:

NOTE: all examples have an extra space at the beginning to make this article publishable. So < X> is really

How to insert a CLICK HERE

Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla < a href=”http://www.XXXXXXXX.com”>Click Here!
(this is the basic code)

< /tr>
< tr>
< td style=”vertical-align: top; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 153); text-align: center; width: 135px;”>< a href=”http://xxxxxxxx.com”>CLICK HERE

< br>
< /td>

The above, MIGHT be how it looks in your html composer, the lay out might be different but the spaces are the same,

To see the code in a page that is “alive” on your browser; here’s what you do; you right click in the middle of a “live” page on your browser, then click on the drop down “view source” in IE or “view page source” in Mozilla, the lay out might be different but the spaces are the same.

If you want to make the link open a new page, (A good idea because your page stays on your prospects desk top.) inset this code after the URL.

” target=”_blank”

Like this: < a href=http://XXXXX,com”target=”_blank”>Click Here!

This kind of thing is easy to do if you have an example like this.

If we take the time to learn a few tricks it may help us all to start aiming for the higher goals in Maslow’s theory.

Sometimes we know that something has to change in our lives. That need often gives birth to a dream. The problem is we often succumb to the fear of the unknown and turn our backs on the doors that are opening to us.

Life was different back in the 1800′s. Charles Tiffany was 15 when he completed his formal
education and went to work managing a general store for his father who owned a Connecticut
cotton mill. He worked long, hard hours – learning new things every day. At 25 he still had
nothing to call his own – and very little money.

Let Necessity Breed Action

It was time to change his life – time to create his own success. I can imagine the conversation
he had with his friend, and new partner, John Young.

“We’re going to New York!”

“To do what?” John asked warily.

“We’re going to open our very own stationery & notions store on Broadway!”

By now John was looking at him like he’d lost his mind, “With what money?”

“I’ve talked my father into loaning us $1000.”

“$1000! That’s all? How are we supposed to start a new business and have money to live on with
just $1000?”

Charles had the perfect answer. “It’s either that or be stuck here for the rest of our lives.”

The two young men went to New York – It was 1837.

Enlarge Your Expectations

The first three days of business in their new store on Broadway were not promising. Tiffany &
Young raked in a dismal $4.38 in sales. No matter. With their sights set on success, the young
men worked hard to provide products people wanted. Within two years they were selling glassware,
cutlery, porcelain, clocks and jewelry.

They had also learned a tremendous amount. They knew to search for every opportunity. They knew
to take advantage of ways to expand their business. They knew each year would bring new
challenges and opportunities. But Charles still had no idea what they would become.

Look For Ways to Expand

In 1841 they added a new partner – someone to travel abroad to increase their purchasing power.

Six years later they recognized a growing market for quality gold jewelry and began to
manufacture their own.

Just one year later, in 1847, Europe was rocked by disturbances. One of the results was diamonds
declining 50% in Paris. They took advantage of the situation to purchase huge amounts – gaining
enormous profits back in America.

All the while they were moving into bigger and better storefronts. In 1867 they moved into the
famous store still on Broadway – Tiffany’s.

The young man who left Connecticut to open a stationery store became the owner of a $2 Million
dollar business (the equivalent of a multi-billion dollar business today) that was acknowledged
as the greatest jewelry company in North America.

Room To Grow

Sometimes your original dream may be just a shadow of its true potential. Tiffany never dreamed
of creating the greatest jewelry company in North America. He simply moved toward every
opportunity – keeping his mind and heart open to every possibility

Follow your dream. Take the steps to bring it to reality. But don’t let your own ability to
dream limit you. Give the dream room to grow. Give it every opportunity to become more. Take
advantage of your lessons learned and continue to forge ahead.

The letters “IQ” stand for “intelligence quotient”, and an IQ test is widely used as a way to measure intelligence.

The test most frequently used today to measure intelligence is called the Stanford-Binet Intelligence Test.  The earliest version of it was developed in France in 1905.

The original test has been revised several times over the years, with a major revision completed at Stanford University in 1960.  The Stanford-Binet test is not the only intelligence test, but it is probably the best known.

IQ tests are often used by educational institutions to segregate students into categories such as “normal”, “gifted”, and “challenged”.

Children and young people are scored relative to each other on a variety of factors, including verbal and logical understanding, vocabulary, arithmetic and spatial orientation.

A person with an IQ score of 100 is deemed to be of average intelligence, while a person with an IQ above 130 is deemed to be intellectually gifted.

Do you know your own IQ?  Do you know what it means?

Although the IQ test is very widely used, and the results are almost synonymous with our idea of intelligence, there has also been a lot of criticism of the test, and of the way the results are used.

Does having a high IQ score guarantee success in later life?  No, it doesn’t!  It doesn’t even guarantee success in school.

A Canadian television program recently tracked down some of the people with the highest IQ scores in North America.

One man who has an extremely high genius IQ works as a motorcycle mechanic, hangs out with biker gangs, and is frequently in and out of jail.

Another man interviewed on the program has the highest IQ recorded in North America.  He has worked as a bouncer in a bar for ten years, earns minimum wage, and lives in a tiny garage.  Clearly, a high IQ is not enough to guarantee success in life.

What IQ tests measure is a certain type of potential.  That potential still needs to be developed and nurtured by the person who has it.  That person may not have the inclination or desire to do so.

Not everyone who has a potential talent also possesses the desire to do something with it.  One person may have a wonderful God-given singing voice, but may have no interest in music, and no desire to perform.

Another person may have the perfect physique to be a high jumper, but may hate sports.  You can probably think of other examples.  Having potential is just a beginning.

The IQ tests we have now may predict which people have a certain type of intellectual potential, but they don’t necessarily predict who will become a good teacher, a good manager, a good president, or a good parent.

Some critics say that the only thing IQ tests can really predict is who will do well on IQ tests.

Qualities such as determination and vision can be more important to your ultimate success in life than the IQ number you started out with.  Being creative, optimistic, and flexible are important hallmarks of many successful people.

Common sense, the ability to get along with other people, and knowing a good idea when you see one, may be more useful qualities than having a genius IQ.

What they don’t realize is that discomfort is one of the values of commitments, one of the reasons for making a commitment in the first place. Within us is an automatic goal-fulfillment mechanism. When we commit to something, we are telling the goal-fulfillment mechanism, “I want this.” The goal-fulfillment mechanism says, “Fine, I’ll arrange for that.” And it does. Among the things it uses – individually or collectively are:

• It looks to see what the lessons are we must learn in order to have our goal then it arranges for those lessons. Sometimes, these lessons come in pleasant ways (we notice an article on what we need to know in a magazine; a conversation with a friend reveals something to us; a song on the radio has a line that tells us something important). At other times, the lessons are unpleasant (someone we must listen to – a boss, for example – tells us “in no uncertain terms” what we need to know; or we get sick, and the doctor tells us what we need to do “or else”).

• The goal-fulfillment mechanism sees what is in the way of us having what we want, and removes it. Again, sometimes this can be pleasant (if the goal is a new car, someone offers us a great price for our old car), or unpleasant (our car is stolen, totaled or breaks down altogether).

In order to have something new, our comfort zone must be expanded to include that new thing. The bigger the new thing, the greater the comfort zone must expand. And comfort zones are most often expanded through discomfort.

When people don’t understand that being uncomfortable is part of the process, they use the discomfort as a reason not to do. Then they don’t get what they want. We must learn to tolerate discomfort in order to grow.

This process of growth is known as “grist for the mill.” When making flour in an old stone mill, it is necessary to add gravel to the wheat before grinding it. This gravel is known as grist. The small stones that make up the grist rub against the grain as the mill wheel passes over them. The friction causes the wheat to be ground into a fine powder. If it wasn’t for the grist, the wheat would only be crushed. To grind wheat fine enough for flour requires grist. After the grinding, the grist is sifted out, and only the flour remains.

Often, my answer is “yes.”  After getting a confused look, I explain that the answer lies not in one or the other of the alternatives, but in exploring and doing both.  This is what I call “both and” thinking.  Collins and Porras in their book Built to Last call it “avoiding the Tyranny of the OR, and embracing the Genius of AND.”

“Either or” thinking is pervasive in our world.  Let’s take the example of the common phrase, “black or white.”  When we think of black or white, we often try to balance by looking for the “shades of gray” – thinking that in balance or compromise we will find the right solution.  This is seldom the most valuable approach.  My suggestion is to consider black and white.

That “either or” solution inevitably leads to suboptimal solutions, and under satisfying compromises.  Balance is not found in some murky middle ground, but rather by dedicating our focus to both ends of the spectrum.

Black <i>and</i> white.

We can take this concept beyond the philosophical and find specific ways to use “both and” thinking in all parts of our lives.  Below is a list of 10 “both and” combinations that will make you a better leader of yourself and others.

<b>Strengths and weaknesses.</b> What we receive feedback, we typically focus on our weaknesses and work to improve in those areas.  This is fine, but if all of our effort is focused here, and none is focused on valuing and strengthening our strengths, we are not investing our time and effort in the most effective way.  Are there weaknesses to improve?  Of course there are.  But think too of your strengths and build those.

<b>Timeless and new.</b>  New ideas are seductive, and we must be mindful of and willing to move forward with new ideas.  But we can’t focus on the new without a bedrock of timeless principles to guide us.  History does repeat itself, so when we find the timeless principles in the new ideas; we will gain even greater clarity and create greater progress.

<b>Expert and novice.</b>  Have a problem to solve?  Consider having an expert help you think it through.  Consider also bringing someone in with no prior knowledge or preconceived ideas about the situation.  Expert and novice.  Both bring value to a problem solving challenge or innovation opportunity.

<b>Inform and listen.</b>  Great communicators do more than inform.  They also listen.  Great communicators are not great because they can do one or the other of these exceptionally well, but because they can do both exceptionally well.

<b>Demanding and supportive.</b>  As a leader of ourselves or others we need to be demanding and tough because clear expectations are important and motivating.  Results are needed.  However, if we drive for the results without supporting people and their feelings, ultimately people won’t reach their true potential.

<b>Goals and serendipity.</b>  To succeed at the highest levels we must have a target in mind, a vision, a goal.  The most successful people have clear goals and continue to listen for the knock of opportunity.  They value the serendipitous moment and meeting, and recognize that in those moments their goals might be adjusted reprioritized or otherwise change.  Simply leaving our lives to serendipity will not create the greatest results.  Conversely, remaining it rigidly goal focused, may preclude us from seeing many great opportunities.

<b>Task and process.</b>  The work must be done – the task is important.  However, thinking of the process, the flow, and how the work is done is equally important.  If we solely focus on getting out the work we’ll miss opportunities to improve the process and make it easier, more productive and more enjoyable.  On the other hand, if we spend all of our time planning the process, we will never get results.  Maintain both a task and process focus.

<b>Strategy and tactics.</b>  We must plan.  Strategy is important.  But we also must take action.  Tactics are imperative.  The most successful people and leaders value strategy in the context of actionable tactics that moved them towards those strategic ideals.

<b>Customer focus and employee focus.</b>  Some organizations feel that the Customer is always right and all work should be done in service for the Customer.  Others feel that if they treat their employees right, the Customers will ultimately be satisfied.  These are not diametrically opposed ideas.  Clearly, Customers and employees are the two most valuable assets any business holds.  Focus on them both.

<b>Individual and team.</b>  Individual talent, performance and productivity are critical; however individual success cannot trump synergistic collaboration.  Work on building individual skills, and empower educate and support teams as well.

I could add to this list, but hopefully you already see the wisdom of “both and” thinking.  Chances are, as you begin to value and create this mindset for yourself, you will find more and more of these combinations that you can apply.

The “both and” mindset will help you become more successful and paradoxically create greater clarity and balance in your life.  Take the time to think about and nurture this mindset today.